It Still Hurts
by A.G. Hart
Summary: Sort of sequel to It's My Party. What does the future hold for Alex and Nick? Life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to. Mild language, very angsty. Chapter 9 is up and the end. I'm sure it's not the end you suspect...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

Author's note: Sort of sequel to "It's My Party." May end up being a one shot. I don't know if more chapters are coming or not.

Chapter 1

She sat at the beautiful cherry dining table for six in the perfectly decorated formal dining room. The latte colored walls usually made the room seem big—which it was—but today the walls seemed to be closing in on her. At the moment, she hated the matching china cabinet and buffet that had taken her forever to pick out. And on top of the buffet were pictures of her son and husband, who looked at her with accusing eyes.

Her elbows were on the table, her head bent over resting in her hands. This left her light brown hair that was touched with gray brushing against the tabletop as she shook her head. She didn't know how she was going to tell him, how she was going to ask the unthinkable. The only high point for her was that her son was not home to witness the storm that was about to hit.

She heard the front door open, then click shut.

"I'm home," came the cheerful call from her husband. He, too, knew that the boy was not home this weekend. They had a romantic weekend planned.

She wanted to call out to, let him know where she was, but no sound would come. The only thing she could do was sit there, wiping her tears, waiting for him to find her. She knew he was expecting a weekend to rekindle their romance, but what she had in store was going to break his heart for the second time.

"Here you are," he smiled as he entered the dining room. His smile was as beautiful as the first time she'd seen it. His hair had grayed with age, but it made him look distinguished. She had thought for sure he would dye it, but, much like her father, he had decided to gray naturally. He came up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders, then leaned down and kissed her cheek. That's when he noticed it was wet.

He pulled out the chair next to hers and sat down, facing her. He turned her towards him after she didn't move. He could see the tearstains running down her cheeks. "What's wrong?" he was truly concerned. It only made things harder.

She could only shake her head. Her voice was nowhere to be found.

"Honey," he said soothingly, running his fingertips down her cheek. "What's the matter?"

She took a depth breath, knowing she didn't want to drag this out, knowing she had to tell him, to say the words. "Divorce," was all that came out.

A small, dismissive smile crossed his lips. "Sweetheart, I promise, nothing you could have done would cause me to divorce you. I love you." He laid a light kiss on her lips. He knew they had problems—that was the point of this weekend.

She shook her head again. "I want a divorce."

He sat back, shock evident in his face. He knew how she felt about divorce, how hard it was for her before. He couldn't believe his own ears.

"Wh-what?"

She looked up into his eyes and started to cry. She never wanted it to come to this, but how could she not ask? She whispered the truth, unable to fight the smile crossing her lips, "He's alive."

"No!" he yelled as if his denial would change the truth.

"Yes," she whispered, remembering the moment she knew it was the truth. She had been walking down the Strip and stopped to look at a window display. She had felt someone behind her, but that wasn't anything new—it was Las "overcrowded" Vegas. It wasn't until she felt the breath of the man as he said her name into her ear that she realized how close he was to her. And when she turned around, she thought she was hallucinating.

He slammed his fist against the table bringing her back to this moment in time. He knew that look in her eyes. It was the way he longed to have her look at him. "We've been through this before. He's dead. Even if he's not dead, he left! Twelve years ago!" He took a deep breath to calm himself. "It's probably just somebody that looks like him."

"We had lunch. It's him," she told him, and then flashed back to the sidewalk where she was this afternoon. After she had convinced herself that he was real and her heart started beating again, she had smacked him. She hadn't forgotten that he had left her twelve years ago either.

The anger returned to his face. He turned and punched the wall. "When?" was all he could think to ask.

She sputtered, only having vaguely heard his question. "This afternoon," she finally replied. "He's been following me for a couple days and finally confronted me."

He had convinced her to have lunch with him, to let him explain where he'd been. After five minutes with him, she honestly didn't care where he'd been, she was just glad he was back. And he asked her to take him back. She knew she couldn't say no.

"And you had lunch with him?" He was failing miserably at controlling the anger in his voice.

"He's my husband," she said before she could stop herself. Then quickly added, "I didn't mean—"

"Yes, you did!" he screamed at her. He turned his back to her and took some more deep breaths. "I know you still wear it."

Now it was her turn to show shock. "W-wear what?"

He turned and pointed towards her chest. "The rings—yours and his—on a chain."

She touched her chest where the rings rested. She stood so she could look him in the eye. She put a hand on his shoulder. There was no need to deny the truth. "I'm so sorry."

"Why did you marry me if you still loved him?" he asked quietly, the hurt evident in his voice.

She started to shake. It was the question she had been asking herself since she had left her lunch with him. "I…I thought he was dead. And Ollie…he…he loves you."

Tears were streaming down his face. "These last eight years, have they meant nothing?"

"Greg," she sighed his name. "I wouldn't have made it through without you. But Nick, he's alive." The last part came out more excited that she had wanted.

"So he's alive, Alex? He hasn't lived with you. He didn't help you through your dad's death. He wasn't there when Ollie got scared at night. And what about Ollie? Does he know his father's alive?"

"I haven't told him. I wanted you to know first," she responded.

"Well, I appreciate that," he replied sarcastically.

Alex's cell phone started to ring. She moved to silence it, but checked the number out of habit. It was Nick. She again lost the war not to smile.

Greg grabbed the phone from her hand and threw it against the wall, causing it to break in to pieces. "Dammit, Alex! How can you do this to me again!"

"Greg," she started to say something, but was cut off.

"Get. Out."

"Come on," she didn't heed his order.

"I said get out!" he yelled at her.

She let out a long sigh. "I'll go, for now. But I will be back to get Oliver on Sunday," she told him.

"We'll talk about that on Sunday," Greg replied through clenched teeth.

"I _will_ get Oliver on Sunday," she repeated. "He deserves to meet his father."

"I am his father!" Greg yelled as she walked out the door. He hit the wall again as the door slammed shut. Then he collapsed in to a chair. He didn't understand how this could be happening to him again. He'd proven himself this time, why would she still choose him?

His whole body started to shake with his sobs. He loved her so much. He'd loved her since the first moment they met. And yet, she didn't feel the same. When would he learn?

Alex paused just outside the door. She didn't want to hurt him, not again. But she couldn't change her heart. She'd tried to love Greg the way he loved her, but it just hadn't worked. She hoped he'd be able to forgive her someday, but she figured that was asking too much.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Alex bolted upright in bed. Her breathing ragged as she gasped for air. She wiped at the moisture on her face with her hand, but whether it was sweat or tears, she couldn't tell. Her heart pounded against her chest like a child on his mother's pots and pans. And all this from the nightmare she hadn't had in years.

She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm herself, trying to let go of the emotions the nightmare brought back. But her fight was futile, and she broke down in tears.

"Jill," she sobbed the name of the star of her nightmare.

Alex's memory took her back to the last time she saw Jill. It was a beautiful fall Las Vegas day. Nick had taken the day off and they had taken the twins, Jill and Oliver, to the park. She used to love the days they'd spend together as a family.

Alex had taken Oliver over to the slide while Nick was pushing Jill on a swing. After a few moments, Jill didn't want to swing anymore and Nick got her out of the swing. As he set her on the ground, he noticed his shoe was untied. He bent down to tie it and when he looked up, she was gone.

Alex would never forget the feeling in the pit of her stomach when she heard Nick call Jill's name. She could never erase the look in his eyes when he told her Jill was missing. And she would never be able to replace the piece of her heart that broke when Jill wasn't found.

Her body shook with her cries. Her sadness was compounded when she started to think of Nick. He had been just as shaken, if not more so, by Jill's disappearance, feeling responsible for not watching her. And then, a year to the day Jill went missing, Nick disappeared. If it hadn't been for Greg, Alex never would have made it through.

Alex stopped crying when she was startled by a knock on her hotel room door. She didn't know anyone who even knew where she was staying. She didn't think Greg would try and track her down. The knock came again.

Alex got out of bed and over to the door. She peered out the peephole to see a set of very familiar eyes. She wiped her hands over her face then down her sweat pants. She opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him.

Nick grinned from ear to ear at just the sight of her. Even the old t-shirt and sweats couldn't diminish how beautiful she was to him. "I had to see you again."

"How did you know I was here?" she questioned, a little suspicious, but she still let him come in.

Nick shrugged, the smile not leaving his face. "You could be in the middle of the Sahara and I would find you."

"Then why did it take you twelve years to find me when I haven't gone anywhere?" The hurt was evident in her voice.

Nick moved to embrace her, but she put a hand on his chest to stop him. They stood for a few moments, staring at each other. Nick was searching Alex's eyes for some answer, the right words to say to make it better. Unfortunately, all he could see were the tears about to spill out.

"Alex, there isn't anything I can say to give you back the last twelve years. All I can say is I had to find Jill. And in trying to find her, I lost myself," he told her.

Alex's bottom lip started to tremble. "You don't know?"

"Don't know what?" Nick had no idea what she was talking about.

"They found Jill," it was barely a whisper.

Nick's eyes lit up. "Where is she? You didn't mention her before."

This time it was Alex who initiated the embrace. "Oh Nicky, she's dead."

Nick felt his heart stop at her words. All these years and Jill was dead. "When?" was all he could think to ask.

"It was about four years ago, shortly before my dad died," she answered him.

"Grissom's dead?"

Alex pulled him towards the bed and sat the both of them down. "He died of an aneurysm. It was unexpected to say the least."

"And I wasn't there for you." Nick sounded disappointed in himself. "I…I…" He just couldn't find the words.

Alex patted him on the leg. "You couldn't have known."

"I should have been there," he whispered, not sure his voice wouldn't betray him if he tried to speak louder.

Alex didn't know how to respond. He should have been there, but he wasn't, and for that, she was angry. But seeing him, sitting in front of her, it almost seemed liked he'd never been gone. Her thoughts drifted to Greg. He had been there for her and yet she was the on who left him. She was so torn up inside.

Alex's cell phone rang, pre-empting whatever it was she was going to say. She looked at the caller ID and saw it was Ollie. She took it as a sign and answered.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Fifteen-year-old Oliver Edward Stokes Sanders walked up to the front door of his house. He didn't think his parents would be home so he didn't knock. They had some special weekend planned, which was why he was staying with his best friend, Dylan. The only reason he was home was because the boys had changed their plans and decided they wanted to go swimming. Of course, Ollie had forgotten his swim trunks and there was no way Dylan's, who was a few inches shorter than the 5'10" Ollie, were going to fit.

Ollie opened the door and walked in to the darkened foyer. He flipped a light switch on then went up to his room. As he got to the top of the stairs, he noticed light coming from under the door to his parents' bedroom.

"Mom? Dad?" he called, not wanting them to think he was a burglar.

He didn't receive a response and that concerned him. It wasn't like his mom or dad to leave a light on. He walked towards their room, again calling to them, "Mom? Dad?"

He pushed the door open slightly and peeked in. Then he pushed the door open wide and rushed to his dad's side. Greg lay with one arm hanging off the bed, empty pill bottles sitting on the bedside table.

"Dad? Dad? Can you hear me?" Ollie asked, voice shaking. "Dad, please answer me!"

Greg's eyes opened then shut again. "Ollie?" he whispered.

"Dad, I'm right here," he replied, grabbing his dad's hand. Then, Ollie pulled out his phone and dial 9-1-1. "I'm getting help," he told his father as the phone rang.

Ollie stayed on the phone with the operator and did everything he was told to do until the ambulance arrived. Once the EMTs took over care of his father, Ollie called his mom.

"Ollie?" his mom answered her phone.

"Mom, where are you? Dad's in trouble," Ollie's voice was still shaky.

"What's happened?" she asked.

"Dad's on his way to the hospital. I think," Ollie's voice broke. He didn't want to be the one to tell his mom this, but there was no one else.

"What is it Ollie?" Alex was extremely worried. She hadn't heard her son sound this way in a long time.

"I think he tried to kill himself," he said it quickly, trying to make sure he got it out.

Alex's heart stopped. This most definitely was not what she wanted.

"What's wrong? What's going on with Oliver?" Nick asked Alex seeing the look on her face.

Alex was startled, having forgotten Nick was even there. Then she shook her head. "It's Greg," her voice was quiet.

"Who are you talking to mom? Where are you?" Ollie was getting very apprehensive about where his mother was.

"No one, Ollie. Ride with your father to the hospital. I'll meet you there," she hung up, knowing Ollie would do what she asked.

"The hospital?" Nick questioned.

"Greg's tried to kill himself," she cried.

"I'll drive you," Nick stood.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said through her sobs.

"You're in no shape to drive and if I don't drive with you, I'm just going to go up there anyway," he tried to reason with her.

She was in no mood to argue. Her brain was so scattered she couldn't come up with anything logical anyway. "Let me change. Then we'll go."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Alexandria Sanders rushed in to the Emergency Room. Nick had dropped her off at the door while he parked the car. Alex searched for her son. After a quick scan she saw him in one corner and approached him.

"How's your dad?" she asked Ollie, wrapping her arms around him.

"They're pumping his stomach. I think…I think I found him in time," Ollie told his mother.

"I love you so much, Ollie. I'm so glad you found him," she hugged him tighter.

Ollie pulled back from Alex. "Why would dad do something like that?"

"There's something I need to tell," Alex started. However, before she could finish, Nick walked in. The second Ollie saw Nick, his face hardened. Alex noticed the change in his demeanor and turned to see where Ollie was looking. Ollie recognized Nick and all the pieces fell in to place. Ollie broke his mother's embrace and walked over to face Nick.

Nick froze when he saw his son walking towards him. Oliver looked so much like him when he was 15. He could see the bits of Alex mixed in, her eyes, her mouth. Nick couldn't believe his eyes. His cute toddler had grown in to a handsome young adult.

Alex saw what was coming but couldn't stop it. Before she could even get out his name, Ollie had balled his hand in to a fist and decked Nick.

"Oliver Edward!" she scolded him after the fact and pulled him away from Nick.

"It's your fault!" Ollie yelled at Nick, straining against his mother's arms.

It was that moment that Catherine Willows chose to walk in to the ER. She had heard Ollie yell and turned to see whom he was yelling at. Then her jaw dropped.

"Nick? Nick Stokes?" Catherine was incredulous.

A smile spread across his sore face. "Catherine!"

"That bastard! He's the reason dad did this!" Ollie shouted.

"Oliver!" Alex again scolded him. "You do not talk like that! Especially to your father."

Ollie looked at his mother like he'd never seen her before. "That is _not_ my father," he spit out, pointing a Nick. "_My_ father is lying on a hospital bed, clinging to life."

Ollie started walking towards an opposite corner of the room. At that moment, he didn't want to be near his mother. He couldn't believe that she could even stand to look at that man, the one who left them twelve years ago. How she could defend him! He took a couple deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

"Oliver, wait," Nick started to follow him.

"You just stay away from me," Ollie warned him.

"Please, Oliver, talk to me," Nick's voice was strained. This was not how he imagined his reunion with his son.

"After twelve years, you finally want to talk? How's this, fuck off!"

Alex's jaw dropped. She'd never heard her son use that type of language. And it was in that moment that she saw the hurt in her son. Ollie knew that Greg wasn't his biological father but he had never talked about Nick, never asked any questions about him. Alex had thought he was too young to remember, or was just trying to be a guy. Now, now she saw that it was because he had been mad, mad at Nick for leaving.

Ollie cast a glance at his mother and it held the contempt that she had heard in his voice. She never thought Ollie would feel this way. She had only been thinking about herself when she told Greg she was leaving him. She'd hurt all of them—Greg, Ollie, Nick—in the process.

Catherine noticed the look in Ollie's eyes as well. "Maybe I should talk to Ollie," she offered, walking towards him.

Alex just nodded and nearly collapsed in to the nearest chair under the weight of her guilt. She put her head in her hands and started to cry silently. Nick went to go sit by her while Catherine put her arm around Ollie and led him to the farthest point in the room. By the time they sat in their corner of the room, Ollie had tears streaming down his face.

"What's going on, Ollie?" Catherine asked him in a soft voice.

Ollie looked at her like she was crazy. Then he motioned towards Nick with his hand. "I wonder?"

"So, your d—biological father is alive," Catherine stated the obvious.

"Yeah, he's been alive all these years. He's never called, sent a postcard, let us know he was alive—Nothing!" Ollie started shaking from the rage that was starting to rebuild inside him.

"Maybe he has a good reason," Catherine was trying to be reasonable.

"There isn't a reason good enough," Ollie replied. "I've heard my mom cry because she missed him so much. And I know how much those tears hurt my dad."

Catherine was stunned. She knew Ollie was very intelligent, but hadn't figured he'd been that observant. He was, after all, a teenage boy. "Don't you think you should give him a chance to explain?"

"Not when my dad tried to kill himself because of that…" Ollie couldn't seem to find the right word.

"How is your dad?" Catherine decided it might be good to change the subject.

Ollie shook his head. "I don't know. The last I heard they were pumping his stomach."

Catherine started to rub his back. "He'll be ok," she assured him. "Your dad's always been a fighter."

"I hope you're right, Aunt Catherine. I hope you're right."

"This is wrong. This is very wrong," Alex kept repeating.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked.

"You. Me. Us. It's wrong. It's just wrong."

"Alex, Oliver will warm up to me. He's a teenager," Nick tried to convince her.

"No, Nick," she replied sharply. "You haven't been there for him. You didn't have to tell him his sister was dead. That his grandfather died. That Santa didn't exist. That everything would be ok. Greg has."

Alex's words stung him. There was no point to argue. He hadn't been there. "But I want to make it up to him, to both of you."

"There is no making it up!" Alex was agitated, more at herself than anyone else. "Ollie is who he is because of Greg. You can't make up missing some of the most important years of your son's life."

"What about you? Is there any making it up to you?" Nick sounded slightly hopeful.

Alex looked Nick directly in the eyes. "Nick," she placed her hand on his cheek. "I never stopped loving you. I never stopped hoping you might be alive." She removed the chain around her neck that held their wedding bands and handed it to him. "And because of that, I never gave Greg the chance he deserved. I never…" she shook her heads, trying to shake away the tears.

Nick's face fell. He didn't think this would go smoothly, but he had no idea how rough the road was actually going to be. The look in her eyes told him that their reunion was going to be short lived. "Alexandria," he whispered her name. "I love you so much."

She gave him a sad smile through her tears. "Just not enough to let me know you were alive before now."

"That's not fair," Nick replied.

"What's not fair is losing my daughter and then losing my husband. What's not fair is a man, who loves me more than his life, might lose it because he thought he'd lost me. Me not giving you a second chance is not not fair." Alex stood up. "It's what you deserve. And I can only hope that Greg is more forgiving than I am."

Alex turned and walked towards the corner where Ollie and Catherine sat. When she got close enough where she knew Ollie could hear her she said, "Ollie, I'm so sorry."

Ollie looked up at her. "Sorry for what? That your leaving dad? That he tried to off himself?"

She kneeled down in front. "I'm sorry that I'm an idiot."

Ollie gave his mother a questioning look. He didn't quite understand.

"I love your father, Greg, very much, I just haven't been showing it very well. I got swept up in the past, but you," she placed her hands on his. "You made me realize that I can't live in past, that I have to live in the present. And you, and your dad, are my right here, my right now. And the both of you have to be my number one priority."

"You can't have two number ones," Ollie replied.

"When it's you and your dad, yes I can," she corrected him.

Ollie bent forward in his chair and wrapped his arms around his mother. "He's going to be ok, isn't he?"

"I hope so," Alex responded, and meant it like she never had before. "I hope to God so."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Nick Stokes sat in the ER waiting room with his head in his hands. His son and his ex-wife had walked back to the room where her now-husband, Greg Sanders lay. He had walked out on her and now she had walked out on him. He knew he had no right to complain.

"So where ya been, Nicky?" Catherine Willows asked as she sat down in the chair next to him.

Nick let out a sigh. "It's a long story."

"I've got the time, especially for you," she told him.

"I don't even know where to begin," he shook his head in despair.

Catherine placed a soothing hand on his back. "How about starting with why you left."

Nick looked her directly in the eyes. "I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore. I had to find her. I had to make things right."

"Nicky, it wasn't your fault," Catherine tried to reassure him.

"It felt like my fault. I was supposed to be watching Jill. I only looked away for a second." Nick balled his fist and hit his thigh. "And now, Alex says they found Jill," Nick asked a question with his eyes he couldn't form with his mouth.

Catherine heard the question loud and clear. "Now I'm the one who doesn't know where to begin." She took a deep breath and started, "Alex got a call from Montana. There had been a car accident where the occupants of the car had been burned to the point of being unidentifiable, so they ran DNA to confirm the identities of the passengers in the car. And one of them was Julie."

Nick had a tear streaming down his cheek. "Do they know how she got to Montana?"

"The police did investigate. They found photos of the couple with Julie that seemed to indicate they are the ones that took her. They found school records showing they moved a lot, projects, family photos. The police talked to teachers, neighbors, friends, and every one seemed to indicate that she was well taken care of," Catherine finished.

Nick smiled sorrowfully. "So they just wanted a child? My child?"

Catherine held up her hands in defeated gesture. "It's not any consolation, I know."

"I lost my wife, my son, my sanity, because some couple decided they wanted my child!" Nick's voice was getting angry.

Catherine ran her hand down his back again. "I'm so sorry, Nicky. I'm so sorry. But you're not the only one who suffered from her loss."

Tears were freely streaming down his cheeks. "How did Alex take it?"

"She took it very hard, but Greg helped her through. Then, when Grissom died a few months later…" Catherine shook her head in remembrance. Alex had gotten so depressed, there was almost no consoling her.

"Greg was really out of it for a while too," Catherine added.

"He always looked up to Grissom," Nick reasoned.

"No, Nick, that's not why. Well, not totally why. Both Jill and Grissom's death made national news. He was afraid you'd show back up and Alex would take you back."

"I didn't know. I wasn't here," he tried to explain.

"Where were you Nick?" Catherine was dying to know.

"I was…" he let out another sigh. "I wasn't there for them, that's all that matters. I wasn't there for Alex or Oliver."

He slowly became aware even those his eyes stayed closed. He could see the light coming through his eyelids. And he knew, he knew he had lived.

Greg Sanders slowly opened his eyes. He found what he expected to find. The white walls of a hospital room, the beeping, flashing lights of a heart monitor, the TV mounted in the corner and…his wife asleep in a chair?

Greg tried to focus to see if it really was Alex. He honestly thought she wouldn't have even cared now that Nick was back. "Alex?" he hoarsely called. She didn't stir.

Greg cleared his throat and tried again. "Alex?" this time it was louder.

Alex's head jerked up. Her eyes were wide. "Greg?" She stood and rushed to his bedside.

"What are you doing here?" he couldn't manage all the anger he had hoped to.

She grabbed his hand. "I've been waiting for two days for my chance to beg for your forgiveness."

Greg had expected her to say anything but that so it took him a few moments to formulate a response. "You think you can just apologize and erase the last few days?"

Alex was shaking her head no before she even began to speak. "No, I don't think it's just going to make everything all better, but I want to know that you'll let me make it up to you. And not just for the last couple days, but for the last eight years."

Greg could barely process what he was hearing. He didn't know how to respond. Alex took his silence to mean he may need more convincing and continued.

"You were right. All these years, you were right. I'd been hanging on to something that didn't exist. I wasn't giving you everything. I promise, if you'll take me back, I'll give you everything I have. I'll be the wife you deserve." Her voice broke on the last word and she started to cry. She placed her face in her hands. "Please give me another chance," it was a whisper.

Greg's emotions were on a roller coaster ride, but he wasn't quite ready to believe her. "What's changed your mind?"

"Ollie," she replied.

Greg's face fell. "Oh."

She smiled slightly, knowing what he was thinking. "Not…not like that, Greg. When Ollie saw Nick he went ballistic, yelling at Nick and even punched him!"

"That's my boy," Greg couldn't help but smile that his son was able to do what he couldn't.

Alex continued, "It made me realize that I hadn't taken in to account anyone's feelings but my own. It made me realize how I never would have made it through the last twelve years without you. How Ollie would not be the young man he is today without you, because I really haven't been much good to him or anyone." She took a deep breath to steady her voice once again.

"You have shown me more love and understanding than I could possibly deserve. My eyes were finally opened and my heart was suddenly free, free to love you without any reservation. I love you, Greg. I honestly, truly, and absolutely love you."

Greg was speechless. He was sure he'd lost her forever when Nick had reappeared. He hadn't wanted to go on with out her. And now, here she was begging him for a second chance, saying everything he'd ever wanted to hear her say. He didn't hesitate.

"Yes," was all he could manage past his bubbling emotions.

She looked up at him. "Yes?"

He nodded. "Yes."

She smiled and threw her arms around his neck. She hugged him tightly. "I love you so much, Greg."

"I love you, too," he told her, wrapping his arms around her and hoping he never had to let her go.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Two weeks later Alex and Greg were sitting on the oversized couch in their family room. Ollie was sitting in the recliner, headphones on, pretending to give all his attention to his Playstation Portable, instead of his parents. In truth, he couldn't have been happier to see his mom leaning her head on his dad's shoulder on the couch. And he would never tell, but it didn't even gross him out when his mom kissed his dad.

It had been a tough couple of weeks. Greg had gotten out of the hospital and had gone home to Alex. But they were still arguing. Greg was having a hard time letting go of his anger and hurt. Alex was sick of walking on eggshells. Alex and Greg agreed they needed to see a marriage counselor and were in the process of finding one. But not every day was bad. At the current moment, everything was going well.

The picture-perfect family moment was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Don't get it," Greg said as Alex started to stand.

"What if it's important?" Alex questioned.

"They would have called," Greg pulled Alex back down to the couch. The knock came again, this time accompanied by the doorbell.

"What if it's the Lab?" Alex asked, thinking it silly they not answer the door.

Greg let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine, get the door."

Alex gave him another peck on the cheek and then went to answer the door. She didn't really want to answer the door either, but with all their cars in the driveway, it was pretty obvious they were home. She knew whoever it was would not go away.

As soon as she opened the door, she went to shut it again. But Nick caught the door before it could shut all the way. He stepped in to the doorway, but didn't really enter the house.

"Alex, please, I come in peace," Nick told her.

Alex faltered. His eyes, his voice, they put a flutter in her heart. And then she got mad at herself, at him. "After two weeks?" Alex anger was evident in her voice.

"I…I wanted to give you space," Nick replied, wanting to explain. "But I'm not here to try and win you back or anything like that."

"Then why are you here?" Alex crossed her arms and deflated a little. Still she wouldn't let him in the door, though.

"I want to see Oliver." The sincerity and pleading in his eyes was searing.

"He doesn't want to see you."

"Isn't he old enough to make that decision himself?" Nick questioned.

"Who is it?" Greg called from the other room. He could hear voices, but no words.

Alex ignored him. She didn't want to lie and she didn't want to tell the truth. She didn't know what Greg would do if he saw Nick standing in the door.

"Get out," she ordered Nick and started to close the door.

"Not until you let me ask Oliver himself," Nick stood his ground and held the door open.

"Please don't make me call the police."

Nick's anger sparked to life at the mention of the police. Oliver was his son. He had every right to see him. "I want to see my son."

Alex put her hand over her eyes. She didn't want to have this conversation again. Before she could say anything, though, Greg came to check on her.

"Who is—" Greg started to repeat his earlier question, but stopped when he saw Nick.

A small smile crept across Nick's lips at the sight of his old friend. He hadn't really seen Greg at the hospital. Memories of their time at the lab together flooded him. But his happiness was soon squashed by the look on Greg's face.

"What are you doing here?" Greg demanded to know.

Nick could tell that Greg did not share his nostalgia at the current moment. "I want to see my son."

Greg took a deep breath. He'd been thinking of this very subject a lot lately. And the ultimate conclusion he came to was that it was Oliver's choice. "Ollie," he called to his son.

Alex shot him a dirty look. She didn't know what he was up to.

Ollie came trudging in to the foyer, not looking up from his PSP. "What dad?" he asked, still playing.

Nick's smile came back at the sight of Oliver, even though it hurt to hear him call Greg dad. "Hey Oliver," Nick said.

At the sound of Nick's voice, Oliver looked up. His face hardened. There was so much he wanted to say that it all got stuck and nothing came out.

Greg could see the emotions playing through his son's face. "Ollie," he tried to get the boy's attention.

Ollie looked at his dad.

"Ollie, Nick wants to see you," Greg told him.

"He's looking at me right now," Ollie retorted.

Greg put his hands on his son's shoulders. "Ollie, I know you've known that I'm not your biological dad. I'm sure you have questions. And now, here he is, your biological father standing in front of you. If you want to know him, want to spend time with him, it's okay with me. It doesn't change anything between us."

Ollie's face softened as his dad spoke. His dad knew him so well. He did have questions. He was curious—he couldn't help himself, especially after seeing him at the hospital. He was so angry that day, but he had thought a lot about Nick since then. He was so afraid that it would hurt his dad. Now, his dad had said it was ok. He threw his arms around his dad.

There was a tear in Alex's eye. She'd been married to Greg for eight years, but he still surprised her. And he still surprised Nick, too. Nick couldn't believe his ears as Greg spoke. After everything, he never would have thought Greg would be so understanding.

"Do you want to talk to Nick?" Greg asked his son.

Ollie searched his father's eyes for the catch, but found none. He nodded. "It's ok with you?"

"It's ok with me," Greg replied. Then he looked at Alex. "Is it ok with you?"

Alex could only nod.

Nick's smile returned. Oliver did want to see him. This was one of the best days of his life. "Where…where do you want to go to talk?"

"Is it ok if we go up to my room?" Ollie asked his dad.

Greg again looked at Alex. She seemed ok with the idea. "Yea, that's fine." Then Greg turned to Nick. "Would you like to come in?"

Nick nodded and crossed the threshold in to the Sanders' home. "Thank you."

"Crap," Ollie interjected. "I've got to pick up a few things before you come up. Give me a minute." Ollie ran up the stairs, for which, Greg was glad.

When he was sure Ollie was out of hearing range, Greg again turned towards Nick. "I'm going to say this only once. You do anything to hurt him and I will hurt you."

Nick interrupted, "I would never—"

Greg cut him off. "And you would never hurt Alex either, huh? I am not happy that you are here, but for the love of my son, you are welcome in my home as long as he wants you here, but not a moment longer."

"I understand," Nick replied. "Thank you."

"Ok, come up!" Ollie called form upstairs.

"It's the third door on the left," Greg told Nick.

Nick quickly went up the stairs, excited to talk to Oliver. He couldn't wait to hear stories about Oliver as a child, to see pictures of him growing up. Nick knew he had missed so much and didn't want to miss anymore.

When Nick was out of sight, Alex grabbed Greg in a tight hug. "I don't know if this is ok," she confessed.

Greg kissed her on the forehead. "It'll be ok."

"It'll be ok?" she needed more reassurances.

"It will be ok," Greg repeated. "Ollie's 15. He's a good kid. He's got understanding parents." He kissed her forehead again then moved his lips close to her ear. "And if Nick fucks up, we know how to get rid of a body."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Nick bolted upright in bed, clutching his stomach. He looked down, expecting to see a knife plunging in to his stomach. Instead, he saw the scars that marred his once perfect torso. His fear had come from a nightmare retelling the event that lead to the scars.

Nick punched his mattress thinking about the scars. He had gone to South America, following leads about where Jill might be. It had taken him years to get there, to get close to where he thought she was. But, as time had showed, it was all a lie.

While searching for more information he had offended the wrong person and found himself in jail. There was no lawyer, no trial, no phone call. There was only hell and darkness for almost four years. He barely spoke the language, not to mention he was white, from the U.S. and a law enforcement agent.

A little over three years in to his stay, he was attacked with a knife and stabbed multiple times, resulting in the scars. He had been beat up, tortured and many other things that he didn't want to remember over the years, but nothing as serious as what happened that day. He nearly lost his life, did lose a kidney, and spent months in the infirmary. Afterwards, they threw him out and into the street with only the clothes on his back. But he didn't care; at least they didn't send him back to that hell hole.

Then it had taken years to get back to the States. He shuddered at the thought of some of the things he had to do to earn money. It was almost worse than prison. When he did get back, he spent six months just wondering around the country. He was ashamed to face his parents, Alex, everyone. He spent the next six months cleaning himself up, trying to be respectable again. Then he went to see Alex.

He had done everything for Jill—for Alex and Oliver. And what did he get in return? His daughter's dead. His son, whom he's happy he gets to see, calls another man dad. His wife—ex-wife—Alex, she's married to Greg. Of all people, Greg! Nick couldn't stand the injustice of it all. And Alex wanted to talk about what's fair?

The thought wasn't new to Nick. He'd had it every day for the last month—ever since Alex and Greg decided to allow him to see Oliver. He had to watch his wife, the mother of his children, with his ex-friend. It was like a prison, always seeing the way things could have been, knowing he'd never be able to get them back. Especially not with St. Greg in the picture.

Then Nick had a thought, what if Greg wasn't in the picture? If Greg, somehow, died and then he was there for Alex, would she take him back? The resounding answer from his head was yes. But, the way his life had gone, he wouldn't be lucky enough for Greg to die. Of course he could always kill Greg…

Nick shook his head. He was not a murderer. He had always fought by the rules, for good and for right. But where did that get him? Beat, lonely, broken, poor. _Fuck the rules_, he thought. He wanted his wife and his son back—and he was going to get them. No matter what, he was going to get them back.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Alex smiled as she cleared the dishes from the dinner table. Greg had actually made it home on time from work and so they were able to have dinner as a family. It was a good sign for their future. Ollie had already gone upstairs to change for youth group. Greg had retired to his office where he would check his e-mail and, not so secretly, work on reports for the lab. It was a nice routine.

She looked down at her watch. She had about thirty minutes until she needed to get going or she and Ollie were going to be late—her for prayer group, him for youth group. For some reason, the thought of it made her think of her father, Gil Grissom. He had come to respect her beliefs, even though his own had waned. She smiled again, knowing Gil was resting peacefully in the arms of angels.

Alex quickly finished loading the dishwasher and headed upstairs to see if Ollie needed anything to finish getting ready. Finding him fully dressed and messing with his hair, she next checked in on Greg, who quickly changed his screen when she walked in the room.

"It's ok," she told him. "I know you're working."

He gave her a half-smile back. "Am I that transparent?"

"My intuition is kicking in," she kissed him on the cheek. "And you left the computer up the other day with a report."

His smile grew and he let out a small chuckle. "Always the investigator."

"It's in my blood, what can I say?" she responded as he gently pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. She, in turn, wrapped her arms around his neck.

He kissed her gently. "I love you."

"Love you, too," she replied. "But I got to go."

He gave her a fake pout. "Do you have to?"

She nodded. "We won't be gone long," she promised, as she stood up.

"Ok, back to work for me," Greg told her and turned his attention back to the computer screen.

Alex grabbed her purse and car keys, thinking she was forgetting something, but not knowing what. Ollie was waiting for her by the car in the garage. Both hopped in and she slowly back out, saying a silent good-bye to Greg like she did every time she left.

From his position, he could see her back out, right on schedule. The boy was in the passenger seat, which meant that Greg Sanders was alone in the house for the next couple hours.

When her car was out of sight, he hit the button on the remote to open the garage door. Unbeknownst to the Sanders, Nick Stokes had 'borrowed' one of the garage remotes on his last visit. He would return it on this visit and no one would be the wiser.

He ducked under the door as soon as he could fit and then quickly closed it. He wasn't sure where Greg was in the house or if he could hear the door. He hoped that if Greg could hear it, he would just think it was Alex.

He approached the door the led into the house, listening for any sound coming from inside. He paused with his hand on the doorknob and put his ear to the door. Nothing. Greg either didn't hear the door or wasn't curious. He slowly turned the doorknob.

Nick crept in to the home and closed the door silently. He paused again, trying to listen for any sound that would give away where Greg was. He took a few steps towards the living room, trying to hear something.

All of a sudden, loud music started to play. Nick, in his many visits, had memorized the layout of the home. He could tell from the sound, that it was coming from the home's office. So that was the direction he headed.

Nick stood outside the office door, flexing his gloved hands. He patted his pocket and felt the knife. He had thought about a gun, but worried that the noise would attract too much attention. Not to mention that gun shot residue is a bitch to get rid of. Plus, this was a very intimate crime and it deserved an intimate weapon.

For Nick this was very personal. After his epiphany, he had decided that there was no way he could hurt Greg—or anyone for that matter. But that changed a week ago when he had come to ask Greg about taking Oliver on a trip to Texas to see his parents.

"No, you can't take him," Greg told Nick.

"It's his grandparents!" Nick replied angrily.

"Nick, I have no problems with your parents," Greg was trying to clarify. "It's you I don't trust."

"It's been four months and have I done anything wrong?" Nick questioned, being very animated.

"In the last four months, no. In the last 13 years, yes."

"I've made mistakes. I admit that. But this is my son. I deserve a chance to be a father to him," Nick was almost pleading.

"Nick, you disappeared. That is not a mistake. It's very purposeful. And I don't want you to disappear with _my_ son," Greg explained.

"I'm taking him to visit my parents!" Nick exclaimed.

"Yeah, in Texas. Then you wind up in Mexico and before we can do anything you end up in prison again!" Greg's anger matched Nick's.

Rage flashed across Nick's face before it quickly dissipated. "What do you mean 'again'?" Nick barely got out.

"I know you were in prison," Greg answered and then decided to explain. "When Jill's death became headline news, I did some searching. I didn't want you coming back and screwing everything up. That's when I found out."

"And you didn't do anything to help me?" Nick was incredulous.

"You're free, aren't you?" Greg shot back. "And believe me, that wasn't cheap. Alex thought I gambled away the money and made me go to GA meetings for two years."

Nick wanted to kill Greg right then and there, but Alex and Oliver were home and he wasn't prepared. Greg knew he was stuck in some godforsaken country and did nothing to help him get back. Sure, he was grateful that Greg had gotten him out of prison, but to just leave him after that? Especially after what he had been through? It was unforgivable. And that's what had brought him here.

Nick knew without looking in that Greg would be sitting at the computer desk and facing the doorway. There would be no surprise attack. There would be some awkward conversation and then he would accomplish what he had come for.

Nick moved in to the doorway, only to find himself nose to nose with Greg.

"What are you doing here?" Greg's anger flared. He remembered their last conversation very well. As well as Nick's threats when he left.

"I've come to finish this," Nick replied, his face set with determination.

"Finish what?" Greg demanded to know.

Greg's answer came in the form of Nick's fist connecting with his jaw. Greg was able to maintain his balance and remained on his feet. Nick punched him a couple of more times, but it was the hit to the chest and knee to the head that finally caused Greg to lose his balance.

Greg was stunned that Nick had moved so fast. Greg was no slouch—he worked out four times a week and ran five miles a day. He just couldn't believe he didn't even get a punch in. And when he hit the ground, he got the wind knocked out of him.

Nick quickly straddled Greg, pinning his arms under him. Seeing the man who once used to be his best friend like that, he had a moment of lucidity and almost got up. But then Greg started to laugh. It was a tight, raspy sound that Nick just didn't understand.

"Why are you laughing?" Nick asked, as he picked up and slammed Greg's head into the floor to get him to stop.

"You're going to kill me," Greg answered once he found his voice. His eyes fluttered slightly. He guessed he had a concussion, although he figured that was the least of his worries.

An odd smile crossed Nick's face. "It's the only way."

"She'll never take you back," Greg told him.

"When she finds out the truth—how you left me in some shit-hole country to die—she just might," Nick replied.

Greg started to laugh again. "I didn't leave you. They told me you were dead. After all the money, they told me you were dead."

"I don't believe you," Nick said through clenched teeth and he punched Greg again. When Greg didn't stop laughing, Nick hit him harder.

Nick was unbelievably frustrated. This was not how he imagined it would be. He thought Greg would be pleading for his life. And that was what was going to make this sweet—to see Greg crying and whining for his life, like Nick had been all those years ago. But all Greg was doing was laughing! Nick punched him again.

Greg was having problems breathing with Nick on his chest. His vision was going blurry due to the trauma to his head. But still he managed to get out his thought, "Ironic."

Nick stopped his assault at the word. "What's ironic?"

Between gasps for breath, he got out, "She's pregnant."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Nick was shocked by Greg's revelation. He couldn't believe that Alex was pregnant. The twins had been a difficult birth, especially with all the trauma she had suffered from being shot in the stomach. She hemorrhaged so much they almost lost her. And now she was pregnant again.

"What?" Nick exclaimed, slamming Greg's head in to the floor again. This time it caused Greg to lose consciousness.

Then Nick heard the distinct sound of the hammer on a revolver being cocked.

"He said I'm pregnant," Alex, holding the revolver to Nick's head responded. "Now, if you would be so kind as to drop the knife and get off my husband."

Nick raised his hands slightly above his shoulders, but didn't drop the knife. He pondered what his next move would be and if Alex would really shoot him. He mustered up all the desire he could with a gun pointed at him and said, "Alex, can't we talk about this?"

Alex could feel her pulse quicken and a slight blush brush her cheeks. And then she was even angrier with him. Angry that even after everything, he could still get a reaction from her. "I said get off my husband."

Nick hesitated. He couldn't believe after all he'd done, all he'd been through for her, for their children, that she could possibly pull a gun on him and threaten him. Nick's anger started to turn its focus.

"Do you know he left me to die in some hell hole country?" Nick's anger started peaking through in his voice.

"I know that he spent most of our savings trying to bribe your way out of jail," Alex replied matter-of-factly. "Stand up please."

Nick's jaw dropped. He didn't think Alex knew. And he was sure when he told her that she would hate Greg.

"Greg told me three months ago," Alex answered the question she could see on Nick's face.

"And you're not mad?" Nick was incredulous.

"I was mad!" Alex's anger started to simmer. "But he did what he thought was right. If he had told me you were dead back then it would have destroyed me."

"But I wasn't dead!" Nick was almost yelling.

"He didn't know that!" Alex yelled back. "Now, I'm not going to tell you again, stand up!"

Nick, not knowing what else to do, slowly stood up so that he was on the opposite side of the prone Greg from Alex. He, however, still didn't drop the knife. He just needed a minute to figure out how he was going to do this. Since Alex taking him back was out of the question, he was going to make sure than no one else—namely Greg—got her either. Plus it was obvious she hadn't deserved his devotion.

"Now drop the knife," Alex ordered him.

Nick flicked his wrist and propelled the knife towards Greg. Alex watched in horror as the event she was trying to avoid unfolded before her eyes. Forgetting for a moment about Nick, she fell to her knees beside Greg, her mind not registering where the knife hit him. Then she lifted the gun and fired.

Unfortunately, Alex's eyes were too blurred with tears to fire the shot straight and she missed Nick. Nick, already moving to avoid the shot, quickly got behind her and wrapped an arm around her neck. It startled Alex and she immediately started clawing at his arms, dropping the gun. Then he dragged her to her feet.

"You stupid bitch," Nick seethed, squeezing her neck. "I did everything for you! And this is how you repay me? You try and shoot me?"

Alex struggled against Nick, but couldn't budge his arm. His chest seemed solid as a rock against her back as she tried elbowing him. She attempted to calm down, to remember her self-defense training. But all she could think about was her dwindling oxygen supply from his ever-tightening arm.

"Nick, please, stop!" Alex begged, her voice a hoarse whisper.

"I think you know it's a little too late for that," Nick replied through gritted teeth. He hadn't wanted this, but he had no choice.

She tried to stomp on his foot, but he was wearing boots and her dress shoes didn't make a dent. She kicked him in the shin, but he didn't even flinch. She scratched at his arms, but his leather jacket made it impossible for her to cause any damage. Not to mention her vision was starting to blur from the lack of oxygen.

"Please!" Alex sobbed, not wanting it to end this way. Greg, possibly dead on the floor. She, losing the fight for life against Nick. Knowing that Greg would be dead as soon as she was. And Ollie, poor Ollie. He would be an orphan.

"Mom, what's taking so—" Ollie paused mid sentence, seeing his father lying on the ground, his mother in a death hold.

Nick turned and then froze as he caught Oliver's eyes. He saw the horror that turned to rage in his son's eyes.

"Bastard!" Ollie yelled as he started to run towards Nick and his mother.

Nick was frozen, unable to comprehend what was happening. Ollie nailed Nick in his side with his shoulder. It shocked Nick enough that he loosened his grip on Alex and she slipped free. Ollie swung at Nick and they started to grapple with each other. Alex scrambled for the gun, knowing that Ollie couldn't take Nick.

Alex heard a loud crack then saw Ollie fall to the ground. Nick started towards her. She lifted the revolver, this time taking a second to aim.

"You can't do it," he said as he closed the gap between them.

She pulled the trigger just to prove him wrong.

Nick stopped as the shot hit him. "You…you shot me!" he sounded surprised.

Alex pulled the trigger again, this time hitting him in the head. Nick fell dead to the ground. Alex scrambled towards Ollie and Greg, pulling out her phone and dialing 9-1-1. She tried to not sound hysterical and did her best to find a pulse on Greg. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found one, even though it was faint. The she crawled over to Ollie to make sure he was ok.

She stayed on the phone with the operator until the EMTs got there. By that time, Ollie had come to and was trying to comfort his mom. The EMTs made an exception and allowed the whole family to ride in the same ambulance. Alex didn't let go of Ollie or Greg's hands for the entire ride as she silently prayed that Greg would live and not leave her a single mother again.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: I apologize in advance for this last chapter. I had a different ending planned for this fic. However due to everything that's been going on since I started writing this fic, I need a happy ending, well, at least a happier ending. How about you? So, here's my happy(er) ending.

Chapter 9

He could hear muffled voices and see the bright light through his eyelids. Slowly, he became aware of the dull ache that filled his whole body. Somewhere in the distance a steady beeping registered. He realized it must be a heart monitor. He was in the hospital—and alive.

He carefully opened his eyes, blinking to adjust to the light. He wondered how long he had been out. When he could finally focus, he scanned the room, but what he saw only made him shut his eyes and turn his head. She was there, but she was hugging _him_. He would rather be dead.

Alex broke from her embrace of Greg and turned back to look at Nick. Her jaw dropped. His head was turned to the side. It was his first movement in a couple days. The doctors hadn't been sure if he would be all right.

"Nick," she called gently as she walked towards the bed.

He didn't move, but she could see the tears trailing down his cheeks. When she got to the bed, she grasped his hand. At that, his eyes flew open.

A smile of relief crossed her lips and she started to cry her own tears. "You're awake," she stated, not being able to keep the emotion out of her voice.

Nick was overcome. He didn't think Alex would be happy to see him, especially after all that had happened. But the look in her eyes, the touch of her hand, it told him more than any words could. He tried to say something, anything, but he just couldn't find the words to say.

She bent over and threw her arms around him, putting her head to his chest, making sure to be careful of the bandage there.

"Alex," he said her name like a man dying of thirst asks for water. His arms snapped around her like a steel trap. And his tears flowed freely.

Alex pulled away so she could look at him. "Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. What's wrong?" She ran a hand lightly through his hair. All their arguments fading away, knowing that he was awake.

He couldn't stop his tears as he tried to answer. "Nothing….wrong. Glad you are here."

She gave him a small smile. "Where else would I be?"

"Greg," was all he could get out.

"Greg's fine. He just got grazed," Alex told him.

"Grazed?" Nick didn't understand. He was the one who had been shot, not Greg. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Alex looked concerned.

Nick remembered something, but from Alex's reaction to him, he wasn't sure it was the right something. He shook his head, "No."

"The doctor said you might have some amnesia. You took a pretty bad blow to the head, aside from being shot," she told him.

"How?" Nick asked, looking for anything to jog his memory.

"You and Greg were at the jail, processing a cell where an inmate died." She paused looking for some recognition in his face, but didn't see any. "According to Greg, you had just found a small swatch of cloth when one of the guards watching you guys became enraged because, as it turns out, he killed the prisoner. A fight ensued and you were shot."

Nick concentrated on her words, trying his hardest to remember. But, all he could see was the fight between him and Greg. Alex shooting him. He tried to clear his head. That wasn't the truth, yet it felt so real.

Alex saw the thought-filled expression on Nick's face and was worried. "Let me get the doctor," she said, then leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

When her lips made contact with his skin, his memory came flooding back. "Wait," he grabbed her hand as she tried to leave.

By the time she turned back to face him, the expression on his face had turned to one of concern. It was a look she knew well, and realized he had started to remember. And what he remembered was their last fight.

Nick couldn't remember who started the fight, but he did remember that they were fighting about work again. Things at the lab, where he was now grave shift supervisor, were hectic because they were short handed—again. Alex was complaining about how little time Nick actually spent at home.

Nick, for his part, was angry too. She didn't really have any room to talk about not being home. She was only supposed to be working part-time as an accountant, but she was putting in more and more hours. Nick accused her of not wanting to be at home and, although he didn't say it in so many words, thought she was cheating. As it turns out, her strange behavior was for quite the opposite reason—she was pregnant. And right as she told him, he got the call regarding the murder at the jail. She was not happy when he left.

"Pregnant," was the only word Nick got out.

Alex nodded slowly, the tears freshly falling from her eyes.

Nick smiled, a wide, proud smile. After catching a glimpse of what a life without Alex would be like, he wasn't going to waste this chance. He pulled lightly on her arm, so that she was once again in his.

"I love you so much," he whispered in to her ear. "Both of you," he added, putting one hand on her stomach.

"Really?" she asked, just needing some reassurance.

"Really," Nick told her, giving her a tight squeeze.

She stayed in his arms for a few more moments, then stood. "I really should get the doctor. He'll want to check you over."

"Ollie and Jill?" Nick wanted to see the twins. He needed to put his arms around Jill to chase away the lingering hole in his heart.

She smiled. "They're here. I'll get them after the doctor," she replied, then went to find the doctor.

Nick could feel a small giggle of relief struggling to break free. Alex was still his wife. Jill, who had been abducted as a toddler, but was found quickly, was still alive and thriving. Oliver was going through some growing pains, but was a good kid. His family was intact and soon to expand. Nothing in the world could be better.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was glad to wake up from that nightmare. He went over it, to remember what was grounded in truth. Alex was pregnant with his child, not Greg's. Greg was, in fact, married to Samantha. Nick had been the best man at their wedding. Ollie and Jill were happy and healthy. Grissom had suffered a heart attack, but he was still alive. He and Sara were somewhere hot and sticky with their son, Isaac. The truth was far from the hell he had imagined.

A squeal broke in to his thoughts and he opened his eyes. A tight smile brushed his lips and a tear escaped from his eye. His daughter stood in the doorway, more beautiful than he remembered. She, like her brother, had dark brown hair. Her eyes were the color of her mother's and her smile was a unique mix of both her parents. He could tell that she would only get more beautiful as she grew.

Jill ran to her father's bed and threw her arms around him. "Daddy, you're awake!"

"Honey," he said squeezing her tight. "I'm so happy to see you." He kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm glad you're awake. I was so scared that you might not," she quickly told him. "Mom said you'd be alright and she was right."

"Lucky guess," Oliver said with a smile, appearing at his dad's side. "But I'm glad she was right."

"Me, too," Nick agreed with his son. "How about a hug for your old man?"

Oliver looked around to make sure that no one was looking, then gladly hugged his dad. He was relieved that his dad had woken up. He wasn't ready to be the man of the house yet, especially because he couldn't even drive yet.

Alex came back in to the room. She smiled wide at the sight of her husband with their children. She could barely remember the last time all four of them were in the same room at the same time. They were all so busy.

Nick looked up and saw Alex. He motioned for her to come over with a slight head movement. She quickly obeyed, not wanting to be away from her family for a second longer.

"I'm making you all a promise," Nick started as Alex approached. "I'm going to be around a lot more. Be a better dad, a better husband. But I need your help."

"I'll keep you in line," Oliver responded.

"We all will," Alex told him.

Nick smiled again. The scenes from his mind's eye fading in the light of reality. He had been given a second chance, again. And he wasn't going to waste it. His family had waited for him long enough. Now he was going to live and grow old surrounded by the people he loved the most. The future was there and he was going to seize it.


End file.
